With Survivors, Always: A Domestic Violence Awareness Month Reflection
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month—a time to honor survivors, raise our collective voice against abuse, and offer pathways to healing. Whether you're a survivor, an advocate, or someone seeking to understand, this month invites us to stand in solidarity and compassion.
What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is not just physical harm—it’s a pattern of behaviors used to gain power and control over another person in a relationship. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, background, or identity. It often hides behind closed doors, masked by shame, fear, or silence.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience abuse in their lifetime. And yet, many never speak out. This month, we break that silence.
Types of Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence can take many forms, including:
Physical Abuse: Slapping, choking, or any physical harm.
Emotional Abuse: Belittling, gaslighting, threats, or manipulation.
Sexual Abuse: Any non-consensual sexual act or
Financial Abuse Controlling: Access to money, sabotaging employment.
Digital Abuse: Monitoring devices, online harassment, and revenge porn.
Isolation: Cutting off access to friends, family, or support systems.
Reproductive Coercion: Controlling birth control or forcing pregnancy
Each form is damaging. Each deserves to be named.
How to Recognize the Signs
Abuse often begins subtly. Here are some red flags:
Excessive jealousy or possessiveness
Controlling behavior disguised as “protection”
Verbal insults, threats, or humiliation
Isolation from loved ones
Unexplained injuries or frequent “accidents”
Fear of upsetting the partner
Gaslighting—making you doubt your memory or reality
Financial dependence or sabotage
Monitoring your phone, social media, or whereabouts
If you feel unsafe, unheard, or diminished—you are not imagining it. You deserve safety.
What to Do If You’re Experiencing Abuse
You are not alone. Here are steps you can take:
Reach out to a trusted friend, therapist, or advocate
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Create a safety plan: Pack essentials, identify safe exits, store emergency contacts
Document incidents: Keep records if safe to do so
Explore local shelters or support groups: Many offer confidential help and housing
Know your rights: Protective orders, legal aid, and advocacy are available
Leaving is hard. Healing is harder. But both are possible.
How to Heal After Abuse
Healing is not linear. It’s a spiral—sometimes messy, always sacred. Here are gentle ways to begin:
Rebuild safety: Secure your space, set boundaries, reclaim your time
Connect with others: Support groups, therapy, trusted friends
Practice self-compassion: You are not to blame. You are worthy of peace.
Journal your journey: Track your growth, honor your grief
Explore rituals: Art, nature, affirmations, spiritual grounding
Celebrate small wins: Every step forward is a triumph
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live alongside your story—with strength, softness, and sovereignty.
Final Thoughts
This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we say: You are not broken. You are brave. You are not alone. You are loved. You are not defined by what happened. You are rising.
Let’s stand #WithSurvivors—always.
